Someone To Lean On
by Kelsey
Summary: Remember Amy Deluca telling Michael he's always welcome... welcome on the couch? Well, this is what happened the night before, the night that Alex actually died, to prompt that.


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Someone To Lean On

by

Princess McPhee

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Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were, do you think Roswell would really being going off the air? : (

Author's Note: This is what comes from watching your copy of 'Cry Your Name' while home from school and ill. Just a warning.

Summary: Remember when Ms. Deluca tells Michael's he'll always be welcome... welcome on the couch? This is the night before, the night that Alex actually died.

Rating: G

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Michael's mind raced as he drove Maria home, her shaking body tucked against his in what was probably not the safest way to drive, but neither of them was really thinking about that. Surprising, considering how Alex had died, but also not. Both of them were craving the others' touch, and it seemed only natural to want it. 

When he reached the Deluca home, Amy came rushing out, obviously having been waiting by the door, her face streaked with tears. She grabbed Maria from Michael's embrace and hugged her, leading the shivering teenager inside. Michael could hear her murmuring to the girl, but he couldn't make out the words, as he stood awkwardly in the driveway, waiting for them to get inside so that he could leave. 

But as Maria's mother tried to close the door behind them, Maria stopped her. "No," She said. "Can Michael stay?"

Looking between the two, Amy Deluca nodded reluctantly. Wordlessly, she gestured for Michael to follow them into the house, and he gratefully came, awkward, but not wanting to leave Maria's side yet. The older Deluca led her daughter to the couch, where they both collapsed, and Michael made a beeline for the kitchen. "Michael?" Maria called, the slightest hint of panic in her voice.

Michael stuck his head around the doorframe and met Maria's wide doe-eyes. "I'm right here. I'm just gonna make us some tea, okay?" She nodded, and Michael disappeared back into the kitchen.

When he had the water whistling and the tea steeping, Michael returned to the living room. Amy and Maria were still sitting in exactly the same position he'd left them in, but they both wordlessly accepted the teacups he held out to them. "Thank you," Maria murmured a moment later, when she seemed to notice the beverage she'd accepted for the first time. Michael nodded, and sat down in the chair across from them.

They sat this way for a long time, sometimes Amy or Maria saying something, usually a remembrance of Alex, with Michael never really contributing. He tried to leave once, feeling uncomfortably out of place, but Maria had gotten that look of panic in her eyes again, and he'd been unable to go.

At midnight, Amy had risen and taken Maria into her bedroom to get ready for bed. Michael had stood in the living room, waiting for one of them to return so that he could say good-bye and leave, but when Amy returned, she'd had blankets and a pillow, and told him that she'd promised Maria he could stay here. He'd thanked her, and gone about setting up his bed on the couch, while she disappeared to finish getting her daughter to sleep.

Twenty minutes later, light snoring was coming from Amy's room, and Michael was lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. Deciding to check up on Maria, he rose as silently as possible, and padded down the hallway to her room. Sticking his head in the door, which had been cracked open to let the light from the hallway in, he found her tiny frame curled up on itself in the middle of the bed, perfectly still. 

He watched her for a few long moments, and then entered the room, intending to kiss her goodnight and go back to the couch. But when he touched her forehead with a gentle brush of his thumb, she opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Sorry," He murmured. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

Maria shook her head gently. "You didn't."

He reached down and took her hand in his, tracing the back of her delicate fingers with his thumb, just looking into her eyes the whole time. They stayed this way for long moments, until Michael reluctantly pulled away and stood. "You need to get your sleep," he explained.

Maria looked pleadingly up at him. "I'm not going to get any sleep tonight, Michael. At least not alone in this bed. Stay, please?"

Michael shook his head. "Not with your mother around. She's threatened my life twice already this year." He gave a wan, humorless smile.

"I promise I'll tell her you're just helping me sleep."

"Before or after she beats on me with a newspaper?"

Maria smiled a little at the thought. "After," She replied mischievously, making a brave effort to be funny in the face of all the tragedy. "'Cause you're too cute to pass up the chance to see you cowering."

"Maria!"

Maria's eyes went serious again. "Please? I'll never sleep alone tonight."

"You could go sleep with your mother."

Maria shook her head. "It wouldn't help." Her doe-eyes pleaded with Michael long after her voice faded in the room, and eventually he couldn't resist. Knowing she needed him was too strong a pull. Grumbling, he sat down on the edge of the bed, shed his pants and crawled in beside her.

"Don't blame me if I get banned from your house in the morning," He told her. Maria smiled. 

"You won't. So long as we stay dressed."

Michael gave her a gentle smile, and brushed his thumb over her forehead again. "Good-night," He whispered. She closed her eyes and snuggled into his chest, and Michael could feel her body still shivering with the emotion the night had wrought. 

"Good-night, Spaceboy."

Rubbing her head gently, Michael lay there for a long while, waiting for her to fall asleep. When her tell-tale rhythmic breathing escaped from her body, he uncurled himself from her sleeping form and started to creep away. Immediately, she curled up on herself and started to shiver. Michael forced himself to keep going, painful though it was. He couldn't help thinking of how peaceful she'd looked sleeping in his arms.

As he neared the door, a whimper escaped her lips, and Michael looked back at her. "Alex," She whispered in her sleep, and Michael's heart tore. She'd just lost one of her best friends, and if sleeping in his arms made her feel better, even just while she was unconscious, then screw what Ms. Deluca would think. He returned to her bed, slipped in beside her, and curled her back around him. Immediately, the whimpering and the shivering slowed, and in moments stopped altogether.

Michael just lay there for long moments, but eventually, despite his reluctance to, he fell asleep. Morning woke him with the bright swaths of sun through the drapes, and he rubbed his eyes sleepily, waking Maria in the process. "Good morning," He whispered, knowing that the events of the night before hadn't been fully processed, and were going to hit her hard in a moment.

She looked up at him, confused, and then her face crumpled. Michael reached out for her, and drew her body close to his, hugging her as tightly as he could without injuring either of them. "Alex," She whimpered. "Oh, god, Michael, he's gone."

Michael's heart broke for her, but there was nothing he could do except be there for her. "I know, Maria, I know."

It was at this moment that Ms. Deluca came into the room, obviously tired and sad, her body language and the haggard look on her face saying it all without her having to speak. Michael looked up and considered jumping away from Maria, but fought the impulse and stayed where he was. Amy stayed silent, just watching the scene.

"Michael, he's gone he's gone he's gone he's gone," Maria chanted, clearly unable to believe it. Michael rubbed her back and whispered into her ear.

"I know." It was all he could say that didn't sound like a triviality. 'It's okay' wouldn't work because it wasn't okay. 'I'm sorry' was overused. But he did know how she felt, and so he simply did his best to remind her that she wasn't alone, that she wasn't the only one missing her lifelong best friend.

Amy Deluca finally cleared her throat and announced her presence. "Maria?"

Maria looked up from Michael's chest slowly, her face tear-stained, but didn't speak. Amy continued as gently as she could. 

"Maria, I know it's hard, but you need to get up. It'll be time for school soon."

Maria nodded silently, and Michael dragged himself away from her. "I'll make breakfast," He offered. "What do you want?"

Maria shrugged. Michael nodded, knowing that she was too deep in her grieving to make that kind of tiny life decision. It just didn't feel important enough to care about. He didn't much care about what they ate for breakfast, either, but he had to feed Maria, or she'd be an even bigger mess at school. "Cereal?" He asked. She nodded wordlessly.

Quietly, he exited the room.

Amy Deluca didn't speak of the morning again until that night, after Maria had gone to sleep and it was just the two of them. Quietly, she'd reminded Michael of his place in her house, but she hadn't chastised him for the night before. She'd seemed to recognize, just as Michael had, that the rules were different when Maria was grieving. That it wasn't the same as other times.

So Michael didn't go back to her side. The trust he'd gotten from Ms. Deluca was unexpected, and he wasn't about to break it. He went into her room, kissed her on the forehead, and went back to his bed on the couch.

It wasn't like having his own flesh and blood around, but it felt good to be the protector, the strong one for these two women. Michael Guerin liked having family, even just for a few days when they need someone to lean on.

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